Win Win World Tour 09/10

It’s been ages since my last blogpost
A lot of things are going on inside of me… getting stuck inside of my head, thinking about my next step, facing my own fears and doubts, breaking through, falling back, getting up again. Most importantly: I keep moving forward.

(Persistence is my middle name)

I just don’t know how to share what’s going on. I get stuck.

Triggered
Wow, just starting to write this post triggers something inside of me and for some reason I start crying.

I cry when I’m deeply touched by something,
I cry when I’m facing my fears and frustrations,
I cry when I’m laughing and laughing and laughing…

Here I am crying at a meeting downtown Toronto

The good news:
Crying in front of wonderful people doesn’t kill me.
(even though it’s freaking scary)

Here they are

Malin Berdette, Zaiga Magnusson, Janice Cheng, Angelina Cooke with Nadeus, Ivan Cooke, Thomas Magnusson.

By the way, I love this pic of a truly amazing modern business man

Ivan Cooke with Nadeus

Ireland, Sweden, Brisbane
What I was going to write about is that I’ve spent some truly valuable weeks in Ireland, that I’m right now on a short and unexpected visit in Sweden and that I’m heading off to Brisbane in 16 hours.

I haven’t packed yet. I mean, I have some things in my suitcase, but I’m still open to recieving clothes from my beloved friends around here. What I have now won’t serve me in Australia.

I’m confused by that fact that my things keep adding up even though I’m giving things away. And I’m a bit stressed out by leaving at 3:40 am. I’m very good at creating a lot of stress for myself. For no reason. Being calm feels better.

So, Brisbane. I’ll arrive on Thursday at 10 something pm.

It’s springtime there. Sunshine is nice. Looking forward to it.

And some more about blogging
I’m trying to tell myself over and over again that it’s ok to use my blog in whatever way I choose to. Then I fall back into thoughts about what others might expect from me – and then I start to think med utgångspunkt from the expectations that I’ve created in my own mind. Believe me: it’s a powerful way to keep myself from blogging.

I’m really grateful that there are some people out there who are carrying the same middle name (persistence, that is). You keep getting back to me, again and again, telling me to write more, to document what’s going on and to share more of it.

Thank you! :)

My style
I’m open to finding my own style and focusing on developing that. I like the Snapshot version – just writing, sharing, showing whatever happens to be on my mind at this exact point.

Oh! The relief!
Ok, right now, in this very moment, I feel like giving myself a challenge: find my own blog style. It’s time for me to snap out of the destructive right/wrong mentality that I’ve been stuck in.

It’s time to step into a curious, experimental mindset where I play around with my blog to find out what I really enjoy. I want this blog to be my playground, with the main focus of amusing myself during my journey.

So what do I want express here?
That’s something for me to explore more. :)

Tags: Allowance, Blog, Focus, Insights, Interactions, Pictures, Questions, Resistance

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009 at 4.45 am and is filed under My Personal Journey. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.